[Work] Handholding the Client (literally)

...... I could see that he appreciated my point and effort, and that was when my client counterpart reached out and ...... held my hand

And that's when I had to, in a split second -- repress the 30-odd years of cultural upbringing. It was hard, damn hard. If something like this happened in KL (or anywhere else in the world), I'd definitely recoil and yell "Oooi apa buat brudder?!"; but there in the client's office in Riyadh, I didn't.

In fact, I was oddly cool. There was a weird calm despite the dichotomy inside.
- On one end, my psychological and physiological being had to quickly come to terms with the local Saudi culture of expressing friendship within the brotherhood at lightspeed.
- On the other end, let me illustrate via this example from Prison Break (Season 1): Ever seen the parts where T-Bag would reverse-flip his pocket to a fresh inmate he fancied? Well, I felt like the freshie.

So back to my first time .... I felt time had slown down to a trickle. Our handholding lasted about 2 whole minutes plus plus, but it felt like an eternity. The closest I can get the reader to understand would be like this:


---- ---- Incident Begins ---- ----

1038am: Errr ... what the heck?!?!
1038am (parallel to "what the heck" feeling): Calm down, calm down its the Saudi custom.
1038am (a few seconds later): Its really "eeewwww", but on the plus side it means that I've managed to gain trust after the few weeks here.
1038am (more seconds later): It is still weirdly gross though....
1038am (more seconds later): Still gross. And weird.
1038am (more seconds later): Really, really weird. Weird experience indeed.
1038am (many more seconds later): If I pull away though, it'd be rude. I don't wanna be rude. Respect the local customs I say....
1038am (agitating seconds later): How long did we hold hands already? Oh wait, there's that MS clock on the bottom right of the screen.
1038am (seconds pass): Hey, its 1038... Did we start handholding at the start of 1038 or at the middle or end of 1038?
1038am (an eternity seems to have passed): I guess it must have been the start of 1038.
1039am (a revelation): Whoa!! It's been maybe 1 full minute already??
1039am (a new disturbing revelation, some moments later): Hey, is it hot in here?
1039am (the disturbing revelation unwinds): Someone's got sweaty palms ... which dude is it? I cannot check my own nor can I check his... crap!!
1039am (sweaty moments are forever): OK this is not cool man ... what to do???
1039am (panicky sweat seconds pass): I could pull out, but it's weird right? Can I? I don't wanna piss off the client counterpart ... dammit!
1039am (more panicky sweat seconds pass): Aha, well maybe if I just reposition my palm just a little bit via a bit of body movement to cover up this palm positioning effort? It could just work ...
1039am (time slows down dramatically): OK, I'm straightening up and moving my hand and elbow a bit ... easy does it ...
1039am (time suddenly speeds up again): Mission Success!! Ohmygosh the small pockets of air between our palms are allowing ventilation to gush through the previously sweaty bits!! Bloody hell its so refreshing!!
1040am (time decides to slow down again): Hey its 2 minutes plus dah! Apa cerita its really been a while ... What's the standard average of handholding btw dudes in KSA?
1040am (time is a blur but sometime during the period defined as 1040am, the client releases the hand): I'm freeeeeee!! Wow that's been a really long time paradox I experienced there.

---- ---- Incident Ends ---- ----


Since that episode, some friends have asked me have there been more incidences? I reply very humbly (with a slight whimper) ... 'yes". But let me declare too that we've always kept it professional, and never even came close to 1st base.